The call that changed everything

I remember this day very well. It was around 8 AM on a weekend. I was sitting in front of the computer, not doing much, while Ros slept in. A private number called me. When I answered the call, a knot formed in my stomach. As soon as I heard Dr Lee's voice, I felt the gravity of the situation. He was calling on a weekend - a clear signal that this was serious. I could feel the room closing in around me, a mix of dread and anticipation swirling inside.

Dr Lee let me know it was him calling and, given the circumstances, I knew it was going to be more than just a blip on the test. He mentioned that he was on holiday but wanted to ring me as soon as he got the results. My world changed with that phone call.

The formal advice later provided in the report from the MRI stated that a lesion was confirmed on the pancreatic head, suggesting a “solid neoplasm.” Essentially, this meant that something abnormal was growing in my pancreas, and we needed to figure out what it was. The lesion was “hyperattenuating to an adjacent portocaval node on retrospective review of CT 07/09/22 (and therefore unlikely to represent a lymph node abutting the pancreas).” Also, “no arterial hyperenhancement to support a pancreatic neuroendocrine tumour, although it is not excluded.” The recommendation on the report was “suggest correlation with any clinical features of syndromic NET and consideration of DOTATATE PET/CT”.

Dr. Lee talked through all the options it could be but did confirm it was a tumour, and that was not in dispute. The type of tumour needed to be confirmed. He referred me to Dr Jason Hwang, who was also a gastroenterologist specializing in therapeutic endoscopy. Dr Hwang was on school holidays, so Dr. Lee mentioned that while the referral had gone off, it might be a week or two before I was able to see him. This turned out to be the opposite; things moved very quickly from here.

After the phone call and conversation with Dr Lee, Ros and I were in quite a state of shock. The news hit particularly hard because just 18 months prior, I had watched my boss of 9 years lose her battle with pancreatic cancer. Her rapid decline left a lasting impression on me, and now, I was potentially facing a similar situation. The urgency of the next steps felt overwhelming, and we knew we had to act fast.

It felt surreal to make those calls. I rang my parents first, wanting them to be informed without causing too much alarm. When I messaged my brother and sisters, I took a more straightforward approach: “MRI confirmed there is a solid mass at the head of the pancreas. Next step is an endoscopic ultrasound which will be organized ASAP on Monday.” The bluntness of my words seemed to reflect the stark reality we were facing.

[Ros] State of shock, my thoughts went straight to what he had just gone through losing his much-loved boss to pancreatic cancer so quickly, it was the worst news, ever, Dr was speaking but I don't really know what he said after Pancreatic Cancer.